1999
SEPARATE MYTH FROM REALITY! (Paddling in the Upper Midwest) (a27)
Greetings fellow paddlers from Bobzilla.
I've been at this kayaking thing for some four years now and during that time I've heard too many myths and not enough reality on local paddling spots. Why am I saying this? So next time someone tells you such-and-such a paddling experience can't be found in the upper Midwest, you'll know that with a little thought on your part-ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. A FEW examples...
Myth No. 1
I don't know how many times I've heard it wasn't worth going to the St.Louis once it started getting below 1500-2000 cfs. Or, that "First Wave" is the only decent play spot on the river.
This level is when "Boatsmear" Rapids open up into a muti-line rock garden. RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE of this chessboard is a LARGE rock that's hard to find but worth the effort. Once you eddy out behind it, you can jump out to river left of it into what I call a "torpedo" surfing wave in which the bow of your boat is held down and shoots underwater like a torpedo. It does NOT PEARL. It reacts as if it were a TORPEDO! So here we have what some people call a low St. Louis level, but definitely a skill move to reach this spot. Then another adrenalized skill move to hold your boat facing upstream while water jets around your entire being.
At this same level downstream of "Kahuna", several ledges open up with wide foam piles behind them that make for very pleasant surfing. Time and time again I've seen people pass these up because "let's get across the reservoir, there's nothing else to play." Etc., etc.
Myth No. 2
"There are no blasting waves in the Midwest."
Let's go to Banning Rapids on the Kettle. A "blast" is when the back pressure of a wave literally blasts you up the top of the incoming current. One day while skipping the lines at the first wave on Blueberry Slide (the one that you eddy out in river left alcove to get on), and seeing the huge line at the third ("main") wave-I decided to check out the ledge hole between the two. Keeping my bow pointed straight upstream in the river right, "gentle part," of the ledge hole, I carefully fed myself out to the wave in the middle. To my astonishment, the wave wedged my stern down and I found myself blasting upstream on a four inch deep, supersonic sheet of water. To say the least, it was much more exhilarating than the "park & ride" surfing I saw going on downstream from me. (A word of caution, the feature appeared that it could dynamically flip you with any lapse of concentration, into the shallow ledge below. So as always, be careful!) With a new boat design coming out every nanosecond, there is no reason that you won't be able to do any play move in the world in the Midwest. (This of course excepts crocodile dodging on the Nile.)
Myth No. 3
"When someone starts hyping you about all the boats, paddlers and gear that have been eaten whole on the lower St. Louis between Thomson Dam and Jay Cooke swinging bridge, don't believe them."
WRONG! BELIEVE THEM! This year I finally decided to take the route down there after having been invited many times. It was running at some 900 cfs. Even before I got to the lower part, the river was already giving me a wake-up call. At least I had heard of all the cut-up hands that happened down there so I was wearing my mid-Winter neoprene gloves in the middle of a very hot July day. Well, what happened, but on the first drop ABOVE the 210 bridge, I come off the tongue of water perfectly. With this, the Godzilla ("will rodeo for larger paddlers" according to the Wave Sport catalog) decided it's time to boogie and I go plunging over my head under water at the base of the sluice. Unfortunately, this means I cannot see the next move around the two pinning rocks that lie immediately in front of the drop. Anyway, the boat surfaces as it's designed to, and I am violently thrown into one of the rocks. I kick out a paddle brace, throwing my fist into the rock and use the water pillowing off it to ride down river. The move comes off flawlessly. But had I not been wearing the gloves, my day would have prematurely ended with a left hand getting the VegoMatic treatment from a typical lower St. Louis slice-&-dice boulder. This brings up Myth No. 4...
Myth No. 4
"Play boats (or rodeo boats) make great down river boats."
No-no-no, a thousand times no! Moving on down the St. Louis, I ran into the ledge two up from the "Octopus" rapids. Again I hit the mark right, weight nicely forward, and the drop STILL dynamically back flips me. Later, I talked this over with Dan Monsky, and he suggested coming into these type drops not with a flat hull and sitting straight upright, but balancing on the side. That way the water can't build up on the scooped tail of your kayak and back ender you at the base of the drop. Makes sense to me but this adds another maneuver you need to be pulling off as you negotiate this stuff. Continuing on down to the river left slots before the swinging bridge, every time I came off a drop, the boat penciled in underwater, and I was left blind to my next move. Even if I had leaned over on one side, the boat still would have most likely shot me completely underwater, helmet and all. I think next time I attempt this stuff, I'll be in a PURE CREEKING boat. What's the reality? Play boats add at least a grade of difficulty to any down river run, turning a III+ to a IV-.
Myth No. 5
"There's a place called 'Big Sur' in Colorado with this wave so huge that you can get out on it with a surfboard and 'hang ten' just like at Zuma Beach. I wish we had something like this in the Midwest."
It took me four years to find out, but finally someone confessed that you should go check out Sauk Rapids on the Mississippi just below the Highway 15 bridge. I "had heard" that this was only a spot for the "Big Dogs" at 15,000 cfs in the spring runoff. No wonder everyone was trying to scare me away from this place. I went up there one glorious day this past summer when there was nothing else to do, and Minnesota Power was stating 9,000 cfs on the Blanchard reading. What did I and Larry Gerber find? Three unique waves in the space of some 100 yards, with a little island to camp out on and take breaks. Where else in Minnesota can you take fifty foot cuts at a fifty degree angle across a wave face then bring it back the other direction finishing with a flat spin at the end. Why-at Sauk Rapids, of course! "Word does have it," that these waves are all still easily accessible and playable up to 15,000 cfs. No wonder the "Big Dogs" never talked this place up (to say nothing of the local St. Cloudites). They wanted this Colorado-style big water play spot all to themselves.
Myth No. 6
"You have to look to the local and international rodeo stars to see the moves of the future."
Several others and I witnessed what was the first known "Blurst" (or combination Blast/Squirt) on record. A "Blurst" begins when you're facing downstream in a three-sixty hole. You back into the incoming current and do a back stern squirt and half twist bringing yourself to face upstream while standing upright on your boat's stern in a stationary position. Extra points are awarded if you can wave your bow back and forth in the air from the eleven to one o'clock position. Sorry Tyler, Joerg, Hugh, EJ, Shane, Karl et al. This maneuver was accomplished by none other than Larry Gerber in his Perception 3-D. in the Hell's Gate hole and witnessed with signed affidavits on record.
Conclusion...
Now that you up-and-coming paddlers have made it through either the beginning or novice refresher or KCI classes-you're going to start looking to the regulars to find out where the best play spots are and what the best techniques are. Next time someone tells you something that just doesn't sit right, I hope you will recall reading this article, think for yourself and SEPARATE MYTH FROM REALITY!
Until the indoor skill sessions this winter then, keep your paddle in the water and your mind will eventually follow.
